Okay ya’ll, I meant to do this a little while ago, but whatever. I watched all the seasons so here’s my Gilmore Girls hot takes, in no particular order. Also, this is before watching the reunion, whatever. Probably get back to it later.

-I hated Dean from day one.

-Rory’s so great. Rory’s amazing. Everyone loves Rory. Rory can do no wrong ever.

-Lorelei’s so great. Lorelei’s amazing. Everyone loves Lorelei.

-If I was ever to watch all these episodes again I’d keep a running tally of every time there was a seemingly random completely jarring homophobic remark trying to pass as a joke. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was in the triple digits.

-Michel was the only black person to speak until the third (maybe fourth) season. Only one other black person in the whole show had a name and she was only around once or twice.

-There were three Hispanic people in the show. One was a nanny and the other two were line cooks. Only one of them had any lines.

-I was excited to see a gay person show up, but I realized I only assumed he was gay because of gratuitous stereotypes.

-College Rory sucks. High school Rory was much better and way less whiny. Or, at least, her flaws were much more forgivable. When she went to college she became an adult who refused to ever act like one or grow up at all.

-For real, Rory, you can’t complain all the time that you need to be taken more seriously when your life falls apart at the first sign of any amount of stress. I’m getting ahead of myself but the end of the last season Rory descends into a depression because after turning down a job at a small newspaper right out of school she doesn’t get a job at the New York fucking Times and that was the first time she was ever rejected from anything ever.

-Rory’s dream forever and forever was to go to Harvard until she got accepted to both Harvard and Yale and she was like fuck it, I’ll go to Yale, nothing matters.

-All of Rory’s boyfriends were the same person.

-I was never happier than when Dean’s life fell apart after getting married.

-Jess wasn’t even a badass. He just wore a leather jacket sometimes. Unless he was cooking meth in Luke’s storeroom, Jess never lived up to the hype.

-Anyone who would like Jess’s writing probably loves Chuck Palahniuk.

-I don’t quite know how to word this one, but you know how on Netflix there are those little rectangles with the show’s name and a picture of the characters or whatever that you can click on to start watching the show? It’s called Gilmore Girls. Why does Netflix need to advertise it with a solitary man?

-Logan’s life is SOOOOOO HAAAARRRD his rich family who already pays for everything he does wants to give him a six figure job and that’s just unacceptable.

-Two girls who have never had a job in their lives and don’t even need to take out student loans to pay for college adorn the wall of their Yale dorm room with a poster of Noam Chomsky.

-Luke, Sookie, and Kirk are the only people in the show who actually work hard.

-Luke could do better.

-Sookie’s entire life revolved around advancing Lorelei’s story arcs.

-Sometimes the writers would get bored with Sookie’s life so they made her pregnant. When they had to stop doing that they gave her several pounds of weed then decided to never resolve that story line.

-Kirk is actually a great example of how to not overdo the quirky minor character who works best in small doses.

-It’s unfortunate the Kirk’s girlfriend Lulu doesn’t really talk even when she’s sitting there and people are literally talking about her while she smiles and nods.

-Ugh, Christopher.

-One time Lorelei and Rory were having a conversation and Lorelei was standing in front of a green screen on which was a slightly blurry picture of the outside of their house while Rory was filmed actually on set. Fuckin weird man.

-Taylor would have voted for Trump.

–The writers got bored with Rory so they introduced April to have a younger, cuter Rory back in the show.

-Those writers I keep mentioning are also really inconsistent with which characters should be making which references. April is science girl, she hasn’t read Moby Dick, that’s Rory. Lorelei got pregnant at 16, she’s a rocker girl, she hasn’t read Moby Dick, again, that’s Rory.

-The whole town loves Rory SO MUCH that they just had to have a reenactment of her Yale graduation. Everyone showed up. Ev-ery-one. Rory was fucking Dean while he was still married and Dean’s exwife showed up to celebrate Rory.

-The grandparents are the best part of the show.

-Richard Gilmore is the only man in the show that knows what a good looking suit is.