Submitted for your approval:

-Jess looks weeeeiiiirrrdddd.

-Logan got more handsom.

-Lorelai looks good.

-Oh yeah, I found out this time around that Lorelai’s name is spelled Lorelai, not Lorelei as I previously thought.

-I found this out because while Rory was looking at old newspapers Lorelai moving to Stars Hollow when she was 16 was literally front page news. Everything has always been about Lorelai.

-Kirk looks good with a beard. Still funny. It’s still rather impressive how that they showed the exact right amount of restraint when using Kirk as comic relief.

-Pete is really, really good at being forgettable.

-Rory is one of the most narcissistic and amoral characters I’ve seen that is presented as sympathetic so it makes complete sense that she is abjectly terrible to Pete and it’s presented as cute and silly.

-I’ve heard a lot of people who grew up watching Gilmore Girls be upset that Rory is a terrible journalist. I don’t think those people were paying attention in the first seven seasons. See above.

-Zooming in on Lorelai’s phone, we find out that this is the first time that she’s ever texted Rory.

-In the middle of the third episode they started giving Berta, the maid, subtitles. It just started out of no where, like an afterthought. Like they were editing it, realized the woman speaking a different language (that’s definitely not Spanish but is actually Spanish) should have subtitles but decided not to worry about all the previous scenes with her in it speaking because it would be more work or something.

-OF COURSE the writers think that their show should be a book. Not just any book, but the most interesting book in the world that’s got it all.

-OF

-FUCKING

-COURSE

-RORY NAMED THE BOOK ‘THE GILMORE GIRLS’ THEN LORELAI SUGGESTED LOSING THE ‘THE’ TO MAKE IT JUST GILMORE GIRLS

-They did the poorly done green screen thing again. This time with Logan in London. But, like, without London landmarks in it, so they just poorly green screened a neighborhood behind him without any real reason.

-This reunion thingy made me realize again that there are a lot of songs out there where the lyrics are just “la la la la la.”

-I was actually pretty excited that they were going to do one episode for each season. I thought there would be cool things to do with that format. Unfortunately, the writers lacked the courage to do any time jumping or anything interesting.

-Lorelai was standing in snow when she got roped into going to therapy with her mother at the end of the first episode then the next one starts with them in therapy presumably several months later and no one acknowledged that anything had happened in the interim.

-Lorelai tearfully explains that she needs to go hike the Pacific Crest Trail to figure out her head and the next episode (weeks to months later) starts with her being gone for one day.

-I’ve hiked parts of the Pacific Crest Trail. It’s nice. Good choice, Lorelai.

-My point is that without the references to whichever holiday Stars Hollow was celebrating, all these plot events could have taken place within a week.

-It would have been cool if they admitted that Michel is gay and not just French like ten years ago.

-Like, I guess it’s nice that they’ve made an effort to be more inclusive with LGBTQ issues, but the execution was just… so… eeeeehhhhhh

-Paris carrying around an empty suitcase was the funniest thing in the show.

-The intentionally bad play was pretty bad even for something trying to be bad, but the Hamilton-esque rap part where they lyrics were literally “I’m rapping like Hamilton” was the second funniest thing in the show.

-God, I miss Richard.

-Whoever was buying the suits this time around did a much better job. All the men in suits looked better than the original series.

-Paul Anka should be dead. Is Paul Anka dead? I should have said this before, but whoever decided that dog’s name should be Paul Anka has never been prouder of themselves and has never stopped being proud of themselves for naming a dog Paul Anka.

-Emily said tits!

-Dean would name his kid Brady.

-LOL, Dean was like an afterthought to be in Rory’s book. When they met in the market she was like “Oh yeah, maybe I should write something about you” while Dean looked like he would still drop his entire life if Rory so much as hinted at a possibility of them getting back together.

-LOL, Jess can’t get over Rory even though it was like 12 years ago. No one can get over Rory Gilmore.

-I hope the father of Rory’s baby was that guy dressed as a Wookie that she randomly hooked up with.