Some time ago whatever nameless, faceless algorithms that command the internet thought I was a young woman, or, at least, would be interested in a game marketed towards young women. I know this because I started seeing ads for this particular game. They were always interesting and as far as I know, I’m the only one whose ever seen these. Full disclosure: I never actually clicked on the ads and played the game, I just really liked the ads.
It started innocently enough. This popped up and I didn’t think too much about it.
Okay, choose your own adventure game, I guess. Simple enough, but I honestly don’t think that anyone referring to their significant other as “bae” would reasonably choose the “Wait your turn…” option. I saw it, recognized its existence, then kept on scrolling. Soon enough, some more popped up that didn’t deviate too much from my expectations.
At this point in my life, these ads had become somewhat evergreen. I remarked that they were at least mostly racially diverse, but overall, I didn’t examine them too closely.
Little did I know that things would soon change and I would become obsessed for the next, I don’t know, like six months or something with the release of this ad:
One of these things is not like the others…
What is this? Where did it come from? What copy writer was just like “fuck it!”?
But then it just kind of started to make sense. This game, like many others, is selling a fantasy. But not just any type of fantasy. This game (the name of which I still can’t remember) was basically just outsourcing your daydreams. I saw the appeal and I wanted to see more. I mean, not enough to download the app or whatever, but I was curious as to what else these ads had in store.
Most of it continued to be not that outlandish, but still fairly interesting.
Drawing an attractive man in an art class? Sure, why not? Seems like a normal thing to daydream about.
You know what else is completely normal to daydream about?
What would you do if you were in Adam and Eves, well, not shoes, but you know.
This one is interesting for a couple of reasons. Clearly they were just drawn into another picture, unlike the others. And it’s not a great photoshop job either.
Also, probably not worth nitpicking, but according to the story, that snack should have arms and legs. They were taken from him as punishment and forced to crawl on his belly forever. And I don’t think the devil was described to be that ripped. But the best part about this one was that it has a sequel.
That’s right, Adam got swole, gelled his hair, got some clothes out of nowhere, and proceeds to leave the shirt unbuttoned. I guess it’s kind of an interesting reversal of the story, Adam becoming the seducer. I don’t think they meant too much by it, I think they were just thinking of some poorly drawn drama.
But we’re not done with this wild ride yet.
This one came up around Easter. I doubt that a large percentage of the people targeted by this ad knew what furry is, so to them this was certainly played more as a joke. It’s much harder for me to guess if the writers knew what a furry is. Considering her face is clearly visible, I’m guessing not. Although it’s possible they did know and just didn’t want anyone to assume that under a rabbit mask was a man.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE NEXT SERIES OF ADS.
Another holiday one, obviously.
Because lesbians! I mean, I’ve literally heard this joke before in person, this is the first time I’ve seen it drawn.
Ah yes, the old I brought you a woman excuse when trying to not get caught cheating. Also, what is that woman doing where she can dress like that at night? I’m not trying to slut shame, I’m just honestly curious as to how she’s not freezing cold? The little star tattoos on her shoulder are a nice touch.
Admittedly, this last one can be interpreted different ways, but I’m pretty sure the two women on the right are a couple having a child through a donor.
Okay. A couple things here. There are no two men couples. Considering it’s all targeted at women, I guess that makes some sense. But like I said, these are all daydreams. I’d even go so far as to say they’re the daydreams of specifically straight women.
The ads perpetuate all those harmful stereotypes. You know, that lesbianism is a phase or it’s not as serious which serves to delegitimize lesbian relationships. The real kicker here is that these specific anti-lesbian stereotypes are rooted in the general background radiation of societal misogyny infantilizing women and are being espoused by a game purportedly for women.
This is one of those times that you get tricked into liking something only later to realize its various problems. It’s like when everyone thought to themselves “maybe Game of Thrones has a little too much rape” and it’s what will probably happen to West World pretty soon. It’s also like when you find out that Santa isn’t real. You’ll always be nostalgic for those more innocent times when you could just like a thing. And you know that it’s okay to like problematic media as long as you recognize its problems. It’s just such a bummer to do so.
Things continued much the same after that.
I don’t think anyone would bounce back quite that fast after being left at the altar, but whatever. Also, where is this taking place? I doubt she brought strawberries, whipped cream, and vodka to the church. Probably at her place or maybe the honeymoon sweet.
For a while they also got a different artist.
There have been interracial couples in other ads, but this is the only time they’ve shown a relationship between two black people. Also, this is the only black man they’ve shown.
FUCKING. DARK.
At this point, it seemed like they were just grasping at the magic that they no longer possessed. It’s sad to watch that kind of slow, decaying downfall, like the third or fourth season of Lost. Like a junky reaching for a greater high, it fell into the all too common trap of trying to top itself over and over. Again, see Lost.
And, like many other failing artists grasping for relevancy, it fell into the trap that most do before the fall: going meta.
Look! We’re pointing at ourselves! Isn’t that sooooo interesting and novel? Okay, the whiteboard drawing in the background gave me a chuckle, but that was it!
I guess they just ran out of ideas. Or stopped trying. Either way, my whirlwind fascination with these ads was ending. I wish there was some larger point I was making. That these six months in my life that were partially defined by some misstargeted ads had taught me something or gave me some sort of take away that I could share. I guess this is just a story about something that happened to me one time. It was good and it was bad and eventually, it was over. I could say that maybe that’s the lesson, but I’d like to at least pretend to be better than that. So I’ll just leave you with the last one I saw from them. Enjoy <3.
